Monday, July 4, 2016

Full Hands

My husband and I decided to go for a hike this morning. He had our son in the hiking backpack and our dog on a leash while I had our daughter facing forward in the front carrier. Right away I knew that we might be pressing our luck when I started to get a headache. All of the carrying and breastfeeding has made the muscles of my upper back and neck extremely tight so now when I put on the pack I started to get a headache. My chiropractor digs in and tries to loosen it up, but I can't really get away from holding and feeding my daughter so I muddle through it. On a side note, I am going to try DeepBlue essential oil by doTERRA to help with the pain. Back to our hike...So I have a headache, and it is very hot and sunny which just adds to it. We make it up and back down with no real hiccups besides the headache, but apparently I look pissed off because my husband says to my son, "Mommy is miserable, I think..." Maybe I looked unhappy, I don't really know, but as we are leaving these ladies are speed walking past us and one says, "Wow you have your hands full!" Then, the other woman says, "It gets better, I swear!" I responded with a nod and a yeah, I know it does, I am just tired from the nights, like I have to explain myself. These are normal and relatively frequent comments made to me. Just to clarify, I do not always look unhappy. I am a very happy and satisfied wife and mom. I assume then that the women who make these comments to me are looking back at their life and remembering how hard it could be to have two small children. The comments are not what I found irritating, but the fact that they were said to me individually and not to my husband. I later asked my husband if he has ever been told anything other then how awesome he is as a dad and of course he hasn't. Why do I have my hands full and my husband doesn't? Why do I need to be told that it gets easier and my husband doesn't. By the end of the hike, my husband had our almost three year old on his shoulders and the dog pulling at her leash. I only had a slightly sleepy 4 month old strapped to me.  Did I really look so rundown that I needed inspiration?

 I have been noticing things like this a lot lately. Moms do not get treated the same way dads get treated. We are expected to have our hands full with the kids and sometimes our husband and get told it gets better instead of "Wow, you are such a great mom getting your kids out of the house and showing them nature and instilling a love of the outdoors in them. Amazing jobs! Kudos to you!" The dialogue needs to change. Mothers need to band together and encourage each other. I challenge you to tell a mom what an amazing job she is doing. This will help her more than 100 "don't worry it gets better"s.

No comments:

Post a Comment