Tuesday, July 12, 2016

To Work Or Not To Work?

At a play date this week with a new mom's group, the other moms and I went through the typical intro of name and kid's name before letting our children run off and play while we sat around and talked. As we got deeper into conversation, I found out a couple of moms were going to go back to work in a few months. One mom even went as far to say that she really missed work and could not wait to go back. It was the first time I had heard that. Most of the moms that I know cried for weeks when going back and wished they had more time. I myself just made the choice to not return to teaching. But this moms comment resonated with me. Since being at home for almost five months, I have thought the same thing a handful of times. I have debated the pros and cons of going back to work even after resigning my position.

The decision to resign my teaching position was not easy. I went back and forth for months. I loved the idea when my children were being wonderful loving angels and dreaded it when everything was chaos. I wondered if I would be able to handle it. Would I love staying home and being around for every moment or would the stress of being home not allow me to enjoy those wonderful moments? With my first, work provided a space to interact with adults. It helped me recharge my batteries so that when I would pick up my son, I was excited to get home and be around him. I wondered and still wonder if I will miss having a career? At the end of the year party for my school, my principal said that I was giving up teaching for the best reason and that I would never look back regret the time I spent at home with my kids. I knew she was right, but I still had my doubts that it was for me.

 The first few months when I was still on maternity leave, I struggled to make staying at home work. I did not have any friends that had children and was not a part of any mom's groups. I didn't know what to do with my time. Some days I didn't even change out of my pajamas. I watched Hallmark movies on the T.V while breastfeeding and was found in the same position when my husband got home as when he left in the morning. I knew that I would be miserable if I did not get it together and find my people. I knew there had to be moms out there. I started to search out places to go and things to do. Red Tricycle helped me find things to do. I slowly started to fill my days. It took awhile. I am not just signing up for a mom's group that I have been wanting to sign up with since my first child. Luckily they have on going sign ups. I was moved by how inclusive the groups are and how much I really enjoy the adult time.

I started with one thing to do outside of the house with the kids once a day. This left time for naps and errands. Having time with other moms to discuss life and the realities of staying home has saved me. So I didn't feel like I was doing chores all day, I utilized companies like Hello Fresh , Instacart, and Amazon Prime Pantry for my shopping and cooking needs. I still have moments where I think going back to work would actually be easier, but I am glad I made the decision that I did.

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