The Let Down

I am not pregnant this month. I was surprised at how sad I was when I took the pregnancy tests and both read no. I honestly thought that it would be as easy as the first pregnancy, but then again, I had no responsibilities, and I was on Christmas break, so I was relaxed. We also were not really trying to get pregnant. This time is the exact opposite. I have a the stress of working a full time job and being a mom. Also, if you have a child, you will know that you can't possibly have as much sex as you had before your child came into the world because you just don't have the alone time you used to have. Also, to be honest chasing around a toddler covered in spit up, food, and other questionable fluids is not sexy. In short, less sex and more stress equals no baby. We may or may not be trying this month. We have yet to figure it out. My husband is a CPA, so March and April are horrible months for giving birth. I know that I can handle a toddler and a new born all on my own, but I am not sure that I want to deprive my husband from being around from his child's first months. We'll see...

Here We Go Again...?

So far, I have multiple symptoms that point to me being pregnant. First, I started to notice that I felt and was extremely bloated to the point where my pants are tight and I have a muffin top. Now, I know I have not been working out hard, but there is no way that one week everything fits and the next I am resorting to my comfy sweats the minute I get home. Next, I have to pee like a racehorse! I was not religious about doing my kaggles, but I have never had to go to the bathroom so much. It is very inconvenient because I am a teacher and can not just go to the bathroom whenever I want. Last, but certainly not least, is the exhaustion that has come over me. I am taking naps, getting headaches, and feeling lightheaded and dizzy at times. The symptoms are similar, but more pronounced. My body already knows what is coming and has started early...It is still to early for an accurate test, so I will continue to wait.

Dream Mother’s Day

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I spent the morning in Santa Cruz with my husband and son. We always get breakfast at this one spot and then walk down to a cliff area where we can watch the surfers. I turned out to be a beautiful day. We went to Capitola beach and let K run in the sand. He ran straight for Soquel river which runs down the middle of the beach. Of course he got soaked and covered in sand. When I went to change him he put up a fight. In hindsight it is very comical, but at the time it exhausted me. I have been feeling very tired lately, so I took a nap when we returned home. I needed to rest up for the family BBQ that we were hosting.

Since I have been feeling so tired, I decided to take a test. It would be a little early, but I thought what the hay, it is Mother’s Day. What fun would it have been to find out that I was be pregnant on Mother’s Day. As I suspected it came out negative. During the test, I was so nervous. I did not expect that since we have been trying. I guess, since it will change our lives once again, it is something I should get nervous about. I am hoping that my next test will be positive. I already feel like I am carrying around a small ball in my belly.

The day ended with a fantastic BBQ. The highlight of the event was my homemade ice cream sandwiches.

The Waiting Game

SRP and my first son, K, was a bit of an accident, so I never had to experience the mix of anxiety and joy that comes with waiting each month to take a test. Honestly, I never thought that I would ever really want to take a test, but I guess this type of test is a bit different from the ones I took in college or give out to my students on Fridays. Those tests don't change your life. Each month will bring an unknown. I am not good with surprises. I know that every symptom that I am feeling will get the better of me. This will give me a place to write my thoughts pre, during, and post pregnancy. I want to discuss fashion, healthy eating, and any other thoughts that come to mind. I also want to keep a section as my pregnancy book that will follow me through my pregnancy. I did not keep one with my first son K and looking back, I would really love the memento.